A recent reflection sparked by a Facebook post by one of my students, who shared that it took her five years of dancing Odissi before feeling worthy of the title "dancer”. It prompted me to contemplate my journey and the formidable influence of childhood conditioning.
How many of us recall instances from our childhood when someone older, presumably wiser, mindlessly criticized our abilities, proclaiming, "You have no rhythm, you shouldn’t be dancing!" or "Singing is not for you!" or "Never mind art, you should be focusing on math." I certainly do!
As a child, I always loved dancing. I eagerly awaited the opportunity to begin dance classes, as it was a custom in my community to begin formal dance classes in 5th grade. In adolescence, I eagerly awaited high school, marking the initiation into our "Discotek," the weekly Friday night dance at the Kibbutz.
Once I left home on my neverending journey of self-discovery, I explored any dance style that came my way; Flamenco classes while living in Mexico, African dance classes while traversing Europe, Kathak classes in Varanasi, and countless other dance workshops spanning classical to ethnic to contemporary, folk, spiritual, authentic... Then, I encountered Odissi, and it captivated me like no other dance form ever had. Yet, even after years of dancing, the concept of calling myself "A dancer" hadn’t crossed my mind... until I delved into teaching and performing. When dance became an integral part of my livelihood, I finally permitted myself to say, "I'm a dancer," without feeling like an imposter. Yet, to this day, I often find myself in need to explain why, almost as if I apologize for choosing to become a dancer.
I grew up in an East European Jewish culture where success was tacitly equated with scholarly pursuits. Intellectual endeavors held merit, while art was relegated to the realm of recreation. Over time, I learned to embrace myself as a healer, a dancer, an artist, a spiritual being, and a scholar too! I didn’t allow this deep-seated childhood conditioning to overtake my life path or stop me from unfurling my potential in its multifaceted hues.
I empathize deeply with those who hesitate to join a dance class for the fear of feeling clumsy, being ridiculed for not being "good enough", or feeling lost with the rhythm or coordination. Dance, like everything else, takes dedication, discipline, and lots of practice. If you feel the calling, listen to your inner voice and take the step into the classroom. The rest will unfold.